a little longer

You step past my outstretched hand And put your arms around me. The kitchen crew are packing up. Your wedding tie hangs loose. I say, "I'll help them with the chairs." You say, "They've got it, Dad." I give your back that little pat That means we're nearly through. You keep your arms around me. I don't know what to do. I try to ask about the drive. I can't get out the words. A little longer, son. I don't know how to be held. I keep looking past your shoulder For a job I can do myself. A little longer, son. I'm trying not to turn away. If my hand starts tapping, It doesn't mean goodbye. There's a loose thread on your collar. I nearly pull it free. I used to straighten all your clothes When you came close to me. You try to laugh the way I do. It catches halfway through. I thought that I was shaking. Now I can feel it in you. A little longer, son. I don't know how to be held. There's a loose thread on your collar. I let it take care of itself. A little longer, son. I feel you shaking too. You don't have to make me laugh. I can stay like this with you. I say, "You stopped asking To be carried long ago." You say, "I knew that pat, Dad. It meant I had to go." I thought you'd just got older. I never thought to ask. I bring my other arm around you. You let your shoulders drop. A little longer, son. Let me learn to hold you too. Let them put away the tables. I'm staying here with you. A little longer, son. I'm sorry I made you let go. My hand rests on your shoulder. You don't have to go. You start to lift your head. I pull you gently back. A little longer, son.